Sensual sex

Don't get stuck in a sex rut, always doing the same old thing. Use your imagination to put all your senses in a spin.

Boy puckering up

What do you mean this doesn't turn you on?

Sight

  • Make your surroundings look a little sexier. Soft lighting or candles are usually a big hit, but you might prefer bright colours to get you in the mood.
  • Throw out your greying smalls and treat yourselves to some new underwear or other outfits that you both like.
  • Agree on a secret signal. If one of you is wearing a certain item of jewellery or clothing, it is a signal to the other person that they’re feeling especially passionate that day.
  • Using a blindfold will heighten your awareness of other sensations. Or just try closing your eyes for a few minutes. If you usually have sex with the lights on, turn the lights off for a change.

Hearing

  • Try playing different types of music when you are making love. See what happens when there’s a background of calming classical; energetic dance music; or pounding rock.
  • Choose a horny theme tune that has a private meaning for you both. But don’t call it ‘our tune’ because that’s just lame.
  • Each pick out a favourite soundtrack for a striptease.
  • If you both like talking dirty then go for it, but show some consideration for your neighbours if the walls are thin!

Smell

  • Use small amounts of your favourite aftershave or perfume. Spray a little on your bed sheets.
  • Do you or your partner think any other aromas are sexy? Is there something that reminds you of a passionate experience? It could be anything from suntan lotion to strawberries.
  • Try scented massage oils or lotions (but keep oil-based products away from condoms).

Touch

  • Avoid going through the same old motions, and think about all the different kinds of touch. Tickling, light touching, circling, grabbing, massaging, kneading, licking, irregular, rhythmic, speeding up, slowing down.
  • Spend an evening just touching one another all over, avoiding penetrative sex, and saying what you like and don’t like. Expect to find out things about one another that will surprise you both.
  • Change what’s against your skin. Try cotton, silk, satin, fake fur, leather, lace, water, sand, grass, or whatever else fires your imagination.

Taste

  • Go out somewhere special to eat, or cook a favourite meal as a prelude. However, don’t eat too much; indigestion, belching, and heartburn are very unsexy to most people, and you might doze off at a crucial moment.
  • Hand feed each other different fruits (e.g. grapes, slices of mango), or chocolates.
  • Slowly feed them the liqueur they like the most, drop by drop. Make them beg for more.
  • Go crazy with edible body paint, whipped cream, or syrup. Turn your date into dessert. Who cares about the state of the carpet or the sheets.

Photo of puckering up by Shutterstock

Next Steps

  • Do you want to understand your relationship better? Love Smart helps you work it all out.
  • Chat about this subject on our Discussion Boards.
  • Need help but confused where to go locally? Download our StepFinder iPhone app to find local support services quickly.

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Updated on 29-Sep-2015