How to go down on a girl

The days of one-sided lovin' are over. Nowadays, it’s all about letting everyone experience sexual pleasure. With The Mix's secrets to giving and receiving great head, you can both enjoy oral sex and share some wonderful sexual experiences. Here’s our guide for how to go down on someone.

A young woman is thinking about how to give head. This is a wide-angle image.

Disclaimer: We recognise that not all people who receive head identify as a girl or a woman. Here at The Mix we strive to be as inclusive as possible with our content, so please know that this advice is for anyone with a vagina. Having said that, since women are most commonly considered in discussions about going down on a person, we will refer to them in this article. 

How to give a girl head

Here are some general tips on giving head:

  • Easy tiger – How to give head? Definitely do not just go barging in down there. Take your time when going down on a girl, or anyone really. It really helps to make sure you’re both feeling turned on before you venture south. What’s more, if you aren’t used to giving head, don’t expect to bring them to a climax in seconds flat. And if you have bad stubble on your chin, you might as well forget it; we can say pretty confidently that no one wants razor burns in such a sensitive place.
  • Ask what they like – Going down on her or them for several hours isn’t necessarily gonna achieve the desired results. Instead, try just a few minutes of oral sex. It can truly do wonders for your foreplay. Be sure to ask them what feels good and if there’s anything that would make it better. You should also get yourselves in a comfortable position, or you’ll end up with a very unsexy crick in your neck.
  • No magic formulas – Everyone’s different. Sadly, this means that there’s no single answer for going down on a girl or person. And forget those ‘Ten Easy Steps to Give Her an Oral Orgasm’ articles in mags. It isn’t some sort of test that you can study for. Sometimes you just have to experiment to see what works for both of you. 

These are some of the more detailed steps about how to go down on a girl or anyone with a vagina:

  • Start gently – Many women have reported that oral sex gives them more stimulation than penetration. So remember to take it easy and avoid being rough, especially to begin with. Don’t be afraid to look where you’re going either. Pay attention to what you’re doing; gently part the outer lips of the vagina and look for the vaginal opening, and the hooded clitoris above it. These are the most pleasurable areas to stimulate a.k.a the key to giving the best head possible. Thrusting the tip of your tongue in and out of the vagina might feel good for a hot second, but it definitely won’t be enough to tip her over the edge.
  • Work it – Try kissing and moving your tongue anywhere between her thighs to turn her on. Slowly make your way to the clitoris, starting with gentle licking or sucking. In between it all, get her to tell you what motion feels the best, what speed and what pressure turns her on the most. Once you have some feedback, you can also try it with a relaxed, soft tongue, and change to a firmer, pointed tongue. Pro-tip: Some people love an up-and-down licking motion, others like it to go from side to side (like a windscreen wiper), and another group like a circular or pressing-down motion. So it’s up to you to figure out which one your partner is.
  • Patience, patience – When you’ve found something that works well, keep on doing it! Take a break if you need one, but try to avoid stopping suddenly. It can genuinely be very frustrating for your partner. Ask if they want you to use your fingers as well. If they say ‘yes’, make sure they’re wet before you start with any clitoral stimulation or penetration.

Final words of wisdom

  • Practice makes perfect – Even if you’re both have a plethora of sexual experience in the bedroom, learning how to give a girl head and bring her to orgasm can take time. So don’t stress out if things aren’t going your way. Just keep practicing giving head until they do. Trust us, it’s worth the effort to see your partner satisfied. And if you’re wondering ‘What does head feel like for a girl/person with a vagina?’ Well, just ask them.

How to receive oral sex if you have a vagina

  • Relax –If you spend lots of time giving rather than receiving during sex acts, it’s only fair that they should do something pleasant for you too. It’s totally your turn to be spoiled. So just relax and enjoy it.
  • Keep it clean – By clean, we just mean looking after the basics. This includes having a daily shower and using un-perfumed mild soap. Remember, a healthy vagina actually has a natural mild musky smell, but don’t let any rumours get to you. We promise, it doesn’t smell like rotting fish down there. So try not to feel too self-conscious
  • Play fair – If you want your partner to go down on you, just ask them to. If you can’t really articulate it just yet, try getting into bed upside down – they’ll probably get the message. If they really aren’t in the mood, or the idea upsets them for whatever reason, drop it for now. Just respect their decision and don’t try to force the issue. Plus, as an FYI, there’s nothing wrong with having oral sex during a period. But a lot of men don’t like doing it then.

How to give oral sex to a woman/person safely

Even if you’re the most sex positive person on the planet, that doesn’t mean you wanna be positive for an STI.

 Remember, it’s not just penetrative sex that transfers STIs. You can also catch chlamydia, herpes, syphilis and gonorrhoea from having unprotected oral sex. The HPV virus, which can cause warts and cancer (albeit rarely), can also be caught from having oral sex. So make sure you’re protected and practice safe oral sex by using a condom or dental dam.

Next Steps

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By Nishika Melwani

Updated on 14-Jun-2022