The legendary come-button that apparently turns your orgasms up to 11. But who's ever actually found their G-spot? And if you can't, are you 'normal'?
Is the G-spot a myth?
There’s been all sorts of debate in the scientific world about whether the G-spot actually exists, or if it’s just a sexual Santa Claus. And for most, the jury’s still out. But Nicci Talbot, sex educator and author of Orgasm believes it definitely exists.
“Most ‘scientific’ studies will say it’s unlikely,” says Nicci. “But they are either too general or research too few women to be reliable.”
Most magazine features are equally convinced, screaming “yes it does!” before listing a million ways to hit it. But if you can’t find yours, all this can leave you feeling either like you’re missing out – or weird. And sex can be pressurised enough as it is.
What is the G-spot?
“It’s not a fixed spot, which might explain why you haven’t found it,” says Rebecca Lowrie, a sexuality therapist.
The hype, the name, even – suggests the G-spot is a specific place that you press for a mega orgasm. In fact, in women it could be anywhere on a large zone of erectile tissue hiding behind the inner wall of the vagina. This tissue starts from the urethral opening (AKA: your pee-hole), runs the length of the urethra and back into the body too. The most sensitive area, when pressed through the vaginal wall, is effectively your G-spot.
“For blokes, it’s slightly easier to locate,” adds Nicci. “It’s better mapped because it’s your prostate gland (and sometimes called the P-spot) and is important to male health. It’s accessed via pressure on the front rectal wall, through the anus. But it can still be tricky to find.”
What’s the Point?
Good question. “Some people have reported massively enhanced orgasms,” says Rebecca. “A G-spot orgasm stimulates different nerves to a clitoral orgasm, so it will also feel different.”
Am I weird if I can’t find my G-spot?
‘NOT. AT. ALL. Even sexologists can’t agree where it is. “The jackpot area of a woman’s G-zone could be anywhere along that stretch of erectile tissue,” says Rebecca. “Size, shape and location differs for everyone. Its sensitivity and pleasurability changes daily from body to body. Men’s are slightly easier to find, but for both, sometimes the G-spot might just not be that sensitive. That’s not abnormal. Stimulating it might also be uncomfortable, irritating, or so subtle you may already have found it and didn’t realise.”
It takes time and patience to find the ‘area’ and stimulation that works. But because we only hear the success stories, nothing short of screaming orgasms is considered a fail. “Sex is a contest for a lot of people,” adds Nicci. “But to find your G, you have to relax and enjoy the search.”
Finding Your G-spot
Our experts recommend starting with a solo expedition. “A (well-lubed) finger is better because you can feel more accurately what works; and then you can direct a partner,” says Rebecca. “Being really aroused before you begin helps massively, as your G-zone will swell.”
Finding a girl’s G-spot
Exploring when crouched on all fours is good. “Put a finger into your vagina and firmly curl it towards the belly,” says Nicci. “Aim for a ridged area at the 12 o’clock position (it may be just inside or much higher) that feels like the roof of your mouth and start there. It usually responds to pressure and light strokes.
How to find a man’s G-spot
Find it yourself by lying on your back, legs raised. Slide a finger into your anus, palm up and crook your finger towards your tummy, building pressure. If your partner is exploring, it’s easier if you lay on your front. Don’t fear the poo-finger (faeces are stored much higher up) but it’s essential to avoid any infection risk. Washing your hands before and after is a good idea. Alternatively, stimulate it from the outside. Press the base of your balls firmly, moving back towards the anus. When you feel a dip under the skin, massage there.
Sex toys for hitting G-spots
Non-vibrating, curved sex toys with a flat end are perfect for accurate G-exploration. You can buy them online or at most high street sex shops.
Yes! No! Stop!
“If you’re exploring with a partner, you must communicate and really trust,” says Nicci. “For some men, simply asking is tricky. Try, ‘I heard that prostate massage leads to a massive orgasm. I’m not sure – would you help me?’ And remember, it could be uncomfortable for your partner too, if they’re worried about hurting you or getting it wrong.”
Best sex positions for hitting G-spots
Ladies, during missionary, tilt your hips upwards slightly, as if you’re trying to touch fanny to belly button. It helps if the man leans his weight on his forearms so you can do this. Your bum should lift off the bed. Alternatively, pop a plump cushion under your backside. Gents, anything inserted in the anus has a good chance of a hit.
Basically, G-success relies on being relaxed and patient, having a trusted partner and practicing loads. It’s not just a case of pressing a button – so you may as well stop worrying. Plus, any exploring will likely reveal some super-hot experiences you wouldn’t have discovered otherwise…
Photo of boy looking by Shutterstock
By Debbie Willimott
Updated on 29-Sep-2015
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