Why is my vagina so tight?

I haven't been able to have sex with my boyfriend because it genuinely hurts too much. Plus, I get really worried about the pain which makes it even worse. I’ve seen a gynaecologist and they said everything was ok. But the pain and unbearable pressure is still there. Even when I'm really turned on or use feminine lubricants, desensitising lotion, warm baths and alcohol. Initially, I thought the pain was caused by the penis pushing against the hymen. Thing is, after trying anal penetration with a condom and lotion, the same thing happened. So now I’m worried my vagina is too tight for sex, what can I do?

Vaginal tightness can occur for many reasons. Luckily, it’s unlikely to mean that sex is impossible. Regardless, physical or psychological problems that impact your sex life can always be resolved once the cause has been identified. If you or your partner experiences pain or discomfort during any sexual activity don’t just brush it off. Visit a GP or physical therapist and they should be able to help you find out what’s going on.

It is unlikely that a vagina is too tight for sex

If you’re sitting there wondering ‘Why is my vagina so tight’, odds are that isn’t the actual issue. 

There’s often concern about the vagina being too tight but this usually isn’t the case. Thanks to the accordion-style folds of skin in its walls, any vagina can accommodate any size penis, no matter how large. Remember, the vaginal muscles and vaginal tissue are actually designed to accommodate a baby of any size during childbirth. As a result, the vagina being too tight has not been found to be a cause of painful intercourse. So even if you’re vagina feels too tight – it probably isn’t.

It’s important that you can get the help you need through speaking to professionals, such as a physical therapist or GP, about the situation. Instead of thinking ‘my vagina is too tight’ you should just take a minute to consider why you’re feeling this way. You and/or your partner should never have to put up with repeatedly experiencing pain or discomfort when you have penetrative sex. You can start figuring out how to fix this by finding out more about painful sex here.

‘My vagina is too tight’ – What you can do to solve the problem 

Anyone can experience sexual problems such as vaginal tightness. There are actually specialist agencies and services that can help. Some problems are psychological, and others have a physical root cause. That’s why it’s so important to get help in finding out why you’re feeling the way you are.

We get why a lot of people avoid sex altogether when issues like this crop up. But you can’t go on like that forever. Usually any medical reason for the pain has been resolved. For example, strengthening your pelvic floor muscles through kegel exercises or using a stronger lubricant to help you if natural lubricant isn’t enough . 

But the mental side is slightly trickier. You need to do some work to deal with the mental association between sex and pain. Constantly asking yourself ‘Why is my vagina so tight’ has probably made you predisposed to believing that sex is always gonna be painful, which isn’t the case at all.

Talking about the problem as a couple and reading self-help or sex education books can be really useful. In more difficult cases, you might wanna seek out sex therapy. It important to know that previous sexually traumatic experiences can also contribute to physical pain during sex. For example, it can cause the involuntary muscle spasm of the vaginal wall.

You can visit your local Brook Centre and have a chat with a counsellor there. Under 25s can talk to someone, in confidence, about anything to do with sex and relationships. Family Planning Clinics may also offer a vaginal examination by a female doctor or nurse. Plus, they might even offer counselling at some services. Alternatively if you’d like online support, you can visit Brook’s website.

Answered by Brook on 08-Jul-2012

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