Friends are family you chose!

Nothing worth fighting for is never easy, but it is definitely worth the fight!!

I first really understood i were lesbian when i were in year 7 (2007/2008), just before summer. I had made a friend who i became close with very fast at the start of the year, and with summer approaching i know we would be spending a lot of time with together. So before i told any of my family, of even my friend, i told her mum, i texted her mum on the walk home from school "Hey *****, i know this will sound very odd and it's ok if you don't like it/me but please don't stop me being friends with *****." I sent and the reply was "what have you done?" I didn't really wanna reply, i was scared and the thought of losing my best friend didn't seem fair, but i had to after the first message i sent. "I'm lesbian, but ***** is just my friend please don't stop me being her friend." Instantly the reply was: " you silly cow, there's nothing wrong with that, you still coming over for tea?" A wave of freedom washed over me, a wave of happiness. I wasn't losing my best friend and no one hated me. I couldn't have been happier. That same say i came out to my friend after tea. She just laughed at me and at the texts I send. Saying I were silly to think they hate me. And that same friend is still my very best friend today even though, throughout the past 10 years of our friendship i have asked her out, bit she declined, and just recently she came out as bisexual to me. We still remain inseparable.
And although coming out to my best friend and her mother I still remained in the closet for a few years to my main and direct family, and to this day most of my family don't know. But to the family i told i got mixed reactions, my granddad is old fashioned and didn't really agree, he found out as it slipped out in convo, but he didn't want to lose another family member after losing my mother to cancer in 2006 and my nanna in 2008 to pneumonia, so he sucked it up and dealt with it by ignore it and asking me to never bring home a girl, my aunt wasn't impressed but she didn't say anything but the look in her eye and tone in her voice said enough for me to understand she didn't like or understand, she found out because she asked about my love bites, one of my 2 uncle is homophobic and throughout the years since he found out by word of mouth he has given me nothing but verbal abuse, my second uncle supports me as best as he can but he has his own life to live and thats really the only family that know, I wouldn't dare tell my father or his side of the family as they are all homophobic and are open about their views.
But even through so many people who are meant to love and protect me are against me, my best friend is the one who keeps me strong, i am out and proud and she has been by my side since day one and as long as you have someome by your side i think that is the strongest thing. It is the most powerful kind of thing. Having one person believe in you.
I am no longer closeted, i am out and proud and i refuse to come out again and have to label myself for someones satisfaction, the important people know.
I mean the road to happiness is never easy, there's bumps along the way but its how to tackle those bumps how ever big or small, but it is ok to take time out, to take time to understand yourself, find yourself and to better yourself, but as long as you one day tackle those bumps with all your strenght.
But i believe the hardest part about coming out isn't coming out to your family/friends/peers, it is coming out to yourself, once you have self acceptances, screw what the world things there's always gunna be haters and people who wanna drag you down. But let them try, we are who we are and they cant change that and even if we tried to change that we wouldn't be truly happy living a pretend life, this isn't some Hannah Montana shit, this is our life and we should all live out and proud with confidence!!

Published on 24-Apr-2017

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