How to be more outgoing

Want to feel more confident and get yourself out there? We know the prospect sounds daunting right now, but with enough time and determination you’ll get there. This doesn’t mean that you’ll leave all your homebody tendencies in the past, just that you’ll have more of a balance. Read on to find out how to be more outgoing.

A group of young people is dancing. They are trying to be more outgoing. This is a wide-angle image.

Life hacks for how to be more outgoing

There’s nothing more likely to drain your social battery than emerging from work or college into a dark, wet, miserable night. But countless evenings sitting alone sounds awful too. So how do you find the energy and enthusiasm to emerge from your cozy blanket and become more outgoing? Here are few suggestions to help with your dilemma:

  • Arrange to meet friends straight from work/college rather than going home first –  you’re way less likely to leave the house once you’ve got back in. Heading straight out keeps things fresh and exciting. Just make sure you’re not dozing off while you’re with them. Trust us, they’ll be able to tell by your body language.
  • Be imaginative – don’t just have a pub night 7 days in a row. Instead, do something that’ll push you out of your comfort zone! Research and surprise your friends with an innovative social event. For example, a lot of museums and galleries do late viewings and have bars you can drink in.  Or try the theatre, gigs, comedy clubs… basically anything that looks like it might be a good time.
  • Book tickets for events or exercise classes early – Sign up to a course or join a team sport months in advance that you can’t back out of at the last minute. Entering into some new social settings can help you to feel more confident. 
  • If you really can’t make it out, invite friends over to your place and make a night of it there – spice up the evening by giving it a theme and ask guests to bring something to contribute like music, food, drink and films. This sort of thing can be a great conversation starter. Plus, with the chat flowing everyone will feel more at ease. If things work out as you planned, it might even become a tradition in your friendship circle.

How to be more outgoing in your local area

Watching TV whilst eating a tub of Ben and Jerrys doesn’t count as a hobby (sorry). Good news is that everyone has something they’d like to do if only they had the time. Well, now we’re telling you to make the time. Whether it’s rock climbing, ceramics or speaking Spanish, you’ll find courses and clubs in your area. There are also tonnes of local interest groups on Facebook that you can join in with. And if you’re not on Facebook, have a look for flyers in local bars and cafes. You could even visit your local adult education centre. No matter what you choose to do, you’ll automatically have a common interest with the people you meet; so hopefully by the end of the night you’ll be feeling good.

How to boost your self esteem

A lack of confidence often does more harm than good to your social life. Social anxiety can leave you reluctant to build relationships or confide in people you know because you’re worried about how they’ll react. The way forward is to identify one thing about yourself that others like and admire, and extend it. We’re not talking about loving yourself overnight here. Small steps are all it takes. Just start by thinking about a small part of you. Say your smile or quick wits. Once you’ve accepted that people respond well to that aspect of you, things will start to snowball. Eventually your social skills will become legendary.

Need some tips for building your self esteem? Read this article!

How to make small talk

A lot of people struggle with small talk, which can make going out and building relationships seem a little intimidating. Here’s a few quick tips to help you fine tune your social skills:

  • Put yourself in social situations where people share a common interest, like a talk on a certain subject or a gig. You’ll probably find you feel more comfortable when you have a built-in ice breaker. 
  • Ask people open-ended questions that need more than just a yes or no answer.
  • Talk to people about the things they like. Most people love talking about themselves, so asking them about their lives is a great idea for striking up a conversation.

Go on blind dates

It sucks when you realise that all your mates are ‘coupled off’. Especially when they start ‘staying in’ to watch videos and cook romantic meals. But don’t despair because you still have plenty of things going for you. And, you may even use them to help you out!

Believe it or not, you can turn being single into a positive by incorporating dating into your social life. Get your coupled-up friends to set you up with all their wonderful single friends (they can cook you all a nice meal at their house to help you feel more at ease), or consider online dating. It’s pretty big at the moment. Not to mention, as more people find their lives are too hectic to make room for romance, finding love over the internet is just going to become more and more commonplace.

Next Steps


social life

By Nishika Melwani

Updated on 01-Jan-2022