How to mend a broken heart

Whether you’re struggling to come to terms with your first broken heart or you’ve been here a few times before, heart break is really, really painful to go through. We know it can seem endless at the time, but luckily it isn't. Read our guide and learn how to mend a broken heart.

A young man is standing. He is suffering from a broken heart. This is a wide-angle image.

So, you’re nursing a broken heart? What you have to remember is that healing a broken heart is, unfortunately, a part of a lot of people’s lives. Ask around and you’ll find that a lot of your close mates have had their hearts broken too. But we’d put our money on the fact that most of them are OK now. And one day you’ll be OK too. Better than OK even. In fact, soon you’ll be thriving. Right now, it’s just hard to believe that.

Your first broken heart

There really is no textbook answer for ‘how to mend a broken heart’ 

Getting through your first broken heart is incredibly difficult. This is because we all think our first, real, wonderful, romantic love will last forever. Funnily enough, we don’t look at our friends and their early relationships and think that they will last forever. And we know statistically that most people don’t fall in love at 17 or thereabouts and stay with that person for life. But that doesn’t stop us from feeling like our particular first love is golden and timeless and unlike any other. So when it ends, understandably, it’s pretty shattering.

The only comfort is that you’ve learnt that you have plenty of love in your heart. And people with love to give are attractive individuals that others are drawn to. One day, you’ll look back at your first love and realise that it was a great dress rehearsal for all subsequent relationships. But you’re unlikely to feel that right now. So for today, why don’t you take the first step and read this article on accepting it’s over, which might help ease the pain.

Recovering from a heart break

You can be so lost after your heart is broken that you feel like you’re seriously ill, or if you’ve been in a car crash. So, treat yourself as such and listen to your body. Let other people care for you, too. Get as much sleep as possible. Eat lovely foods. Convalesce. And allow yourself to cry – even if you think it’s not gonna help. It’s horrible at the time, but you’ll feel better afterwards. And that’s a Mix guarantee. All in all, just take life day-by-day – you’ve had a shock, and your mind and body need to take their time healing a broken heart. 

Your social life will help you move on

Your friends will help you get over it (even if you don’t ask for their help). In no time, they’ll be asking you to come out in a group to the cinema or the pub. At first you won’t be in the mood, but soon you’ll realise that there are some perks to being single again. In fact, you’ll find that you can now do all the things that your ex didn’t like. This might include listening to YOUR favourite music or watching YOUR favourite movie; whatever it is, you get to do you now. 

Realise that your relationship may not have been perfect

Once you’re over the stage of feeling shocked and ill, try to look back at your relationship as it really was; not through the rose-tinted love-goggles you’ve worn for so long.

Write a list of the things that you don’t miss about your ex. At first you’ll be thinking that you loved everything about this person. But, we promise, you didn’t. What about those awful jokes, the rows, how you always had to make the arrangements, the times when your ex made you feel stupid or how they didn’t like your best mate? There are always elements to our past loves that weren’t right, that’s why they’ve passed. And this is definitely a good time to focus on them.

How to mend a broken heart? Probably not through a rebound

Sometimes when our hearts are broken we want to find someone new as soon as possible. As we’re sure you’re aware, this is called as being on the rebound, which you can read more about here. Honestly, it’s completely natural to feel this way – but we’d caution against following those feelings. Your best bet is to embrace your single life wholeheartedly for six months or so. You can have a sex life, but as always make sure you’re having safe sex to avoid STIs and unplanned pregnancies. 

However, it’s likely that your emotions are not going to settle for quite a while. So have fun, but don’t go looking for anything else serious until you’re happy in your own skin. A good sign of this is being able to get through a whole day without thinking about them.

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Tags:

heartbreak

By Christine Webber

Updated on 22-Dec-2021