Ambassador voices: How to combat loneliness as a student over Christmas
I’m Jay and I’m a member of the Youth Representatives panel at The Mix. I work together with my team to hear the voices of young people and use their opinions to improve services and make them diverse.
Loneliness as a student at Christmas
Christmas. A time of presents and festivities, family and home. After the long year that 2020 has been, this time of rest is welcomed by almost everyone. But for some students, it is the loneliest time of the year.
They say that Christmas is a time of year to be spent with family and loved ones. But for some university students, especially this year, this is not what their Christmas will be like. Research from Togetherall in 2019 found that some 750,000 students stay at their university accommodation over the Christmas period; that’s as many as one in three. There are many reasons why these students stay at university. Maybe they don’t get on with their family, maybe they can’t afford the travel, maybe they’re working and can’t get back in time. Or this year, maybe they have tested positive for Covid-19 and they can’t leave.
Christmas at university
At the best of times, University can be isolating, even if you have friends and live with other people. Being away from home, having to take care of yourself, with the stress of getting a degree. It can make you feel distant and alone. This is especially true at Christmas, when most of your friends and housemates go home for the holiday. My housemate, and friend, goes through this every year.
In my student house, festivities start early. While my housemates put the tree up and douse the whole house in tinsel, I cook gingerbread, and then we drink hot chocolate and have a christmas movie marathon. Christmas Day is not 25th December, it is the last day we are all in the house before some of us go home for the holidays. We have a huge Christmas dinner; turkey, pigs in blankets and all the trimmings, usually cooked by me. Then we open our presents and play games. Just generally enjoying each others company for the last time this year.
Normally, this would have happened on the 14th or 16th of December, but due to Covid, our Christmas Day was December 5th this year. Then we all leave, one by one, except my friend who stays all alone. So Christmas ends on our Christmas day at university, because none of us can bear to say Merry Christmas through the phone. His face when we return after New Year is always one of immense relief.
This year, this will be undoubtedly worse for so many students due to the pandemic. After adjusting to changes in teaching, less resources and facilities, and enduring a second lockdown away from home, a Christmas away from loved ones, trapped alone in their accommodations, really is a harrowing end to a difficult year.
This is why I offer up my top tips for battling Christmas loneliness at University (tried and tested by my very own housemate!)
Tips for coping with loneliness at Christmas
- Plan your days – Have a plan of action for each day, even if it’s only one thing you want to get done today. Having a plan gives you structure and a nice sense of accomplishment at the end of the day.
- Take advantage of the empty campus – With most students away and most campus facilities staying open right up to Christmas Day, finding a study space has never been easier. Bonus – Ever wanted to take a nice picture of that beauty spot on campus, but there’s always people in the way? Perhaps even an Instagram photoshoot without an audience? Now’s the time!
- Keep in contact with the people you care about – Whether it’s family or friends, talking with the people who make you happy always helps loneliness. If you can, talk on the phone or video call rather than messaging – hearing them is much better than reading!
- Volunteer – It may be more difficult this year, but many charities are still in need of extra volunteers at Christmas. Does your local homeless shelter need some help? Or maybe the local rescue shelter needs more dog walkers? Whatever it is, it’s a great way to keep your days busy and give you a great feeling of giving back.
- More space? More fun! – For those who live in shared accommodation, now that your housemates are away, it’s time to take advantage. Longer showers, wash up when you want, movie marathon in a den in the living room, turn the music up louder and dancing like crazy, sledging down the stairs? Great! (Maybe don’t sledge down the stairs though, it’s more danger than it’s worth).
- Exercise – I know, winter isn’t exactly the perfect season for exercise. But whether it’s going for a walk or doing a 10-minute YouTube cardio routine, exercise helps release endorphins which help to lift your mood.
- Christmas day, your way – Not a fan of turkey? No problem. Your Christmas dinner could be your favourite meal, or even a brand-new one you’ve never cooked before. Start your own Christmas Day traditions – it’s a bit of fun for this year and you can carry it forward every year with you too.
- Learn a new skill – Now could be the perfect time to be creative. A new language, how to make origami birds, drawing. There’s so many things you could learn, and so many great ways to learn them – Google is full of amazing guides for almost everything.
- Join a community – There are loads of online communities – even here, on The Mix’s Community, there are tonnes of pages and people with similar interests to you. Why not have a look and talk about what you enjoy?
- Reach out – If you’re feeling lonely, it’s likely there are other people at your university feeling the same. Try reaching out to others still at university to check in on them, and you’ll find you both feel a little less alone.
- Finally, if you need support, access it – While being at university over Christmas can feel lonely and isolating, you are not alone. Universities often have support for students at Christmas, maybe even activities or people to speak to. And beyond that, there are so many amazing resources you can take advantage of such as 24-hour phone lines and texting services and support forums. If you feel you need support this Christmas, please access it.
There is no doubt that this will be difficult Christmas for many students alone at University, but hopefully with these tips, the holidays won’t be so isolating and everyone can enjoy the festive time a little bit more.
If you’re feeling lonely this Christmas
Read The Mix’s guide to coping with loneliness.
Read The Mix’s guide to looking after your mental health during the holidays.
Get in touch with The Mix’s team who are there to listen and to talk.
Updated on 23-Dec-2020
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