Single on Valentine’s Day?
All alone this Valentine's? No need to bulk-buy chocolate. Being single on the day of love can be just as fun as being coupled up.
So you’re single? You probably didn’t even mind until February hit. But suddenly the world turns against you… Garish teddy bears wearing ‘I wuv you’ jumpers fill every shop window, your office has a dangerously high pollen count due to mass bunches of overpriced flowers on colleagues’ desks, and your favourite restaurant has disposed of its regular menu and is charging you fifty quid for some tagliatelle. You will eat while a couple dry-hump under the table next to you.
You will, therefore, be forgiven for hating Valentine’s Day and hiding under your duvet until the frenzy is over. But then you would be missing out on all the fun! V Day is for singles too you know.
The best part about Valentine’s Day? All the couples are crammed into restaurants paying a fortune for a set menu, leaving the bars and clubs a singles-only zone. And there are a wealth of singles nights organised to help you meet a potential other-half. Speed dating, lock and key parties, anti-Valentine’s fetish balls – the clubbing world is your single oyster. And just think. While the loved-ups are enjoying their ten minutes of obligatory missionary before 9pm bedtime, you could be getting hot and heavy with a sexy stranger. Now who’s bitter?
Embrace singledom – especially the gross bits
No, not in a ‘you’ve got to love yourself first’ vomit-inducing way. But there is something to celebrating your single status. Remind yourself that it’s better to not be in a relationship, rather than being in the wrong relationship. Don’t fall into that all-too-familiar trap of romanticising your ex because the day’s made you come across all sentimental. And enjoy all the gross stuff you can do when there’s no lover around to impress. Pick your toenails, poo with the bathroom door open, burp violently and spend the evening slobbing around in those comfy pair of joggers with the curry stain down the front. You’ll miss all this once love comes knocking.
Share the love
Valentine’s Day isn’t all about couples – it’s about love as well. And sharing yours could give you that warm gooey feeling equal to the flutterings of a new romance. Send your family and friends Valentine’s cards to pop a smile on their face. Or try volunteering for the day. As well as giving you an I’m-a-great-person fix, it’s also a brilliant way of meeting new people. Who knows what potential Romeo, Juliet, or surprisingly good-looking person called Barry you could meet?
Throw an anti-Valentine’s party
These, admittedly slightly bitter, affairs are a fun way of bringing all your single friends together. They’re basically a house party, but with loads of anti-relationship fun. Make your guests wear humorous breakup tags, such as Nicki ‘It’s not you it’s me’ Smith. Blare out anti-love songs (R-E-S-P-E-C-T always goes down well). Serve stinky garlicky food everyone can enjoy without worrying about kissing breath, bake heart cookies and decorate them with black icing, spear some hearts (asparagus not human) and shove them on the grill, or smash up some Lovehearts and sprinkle them on top of black cupcakes. Add alcohol and enjoy.
Ruin it for others
So you’ve tried not to be resentful about it. But you are. Loads. It might not be the most ethical way of handling the holiday, but ruining Valentine’s Day for other couples is an appealing option. Methods vary on the psycho-scale. On the low level you could simply book a massive table at a restaurant for all your single friends and ruin the romantic atmosphere by being loud and drunk. Up a notch, is going to the cinema and pelting smooching couples with popcorn whilst cackling manically. And if you’re feeling mega-mental, try knocking on a restaurant window, catching the eye of a happily-dining couple, and ruining their evening by mouthing ‘I love you’ at one of them. Cue “who the hell was that?” arguments whilst you giggle in the bushes. Warning: The Mix cannot be held responsible for any karmic or legal fallout from indulging in such behaviour.
Updated on 29-Sep-2015
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