Making sex better

Making sex better isn't all about fancy techniques and positions. When it comes to sex, sometimes the simplest move can be the hottest. It's about having the guts to go for it, then laughing it off when it all goes wrong. Here are our top sex tips.

two girls kissing

Good sex doesn't have to be complicated

First things first

Remember, before you start experimenting, sex is a shared experience, so mutual consent is essential. If you suggest something new with your partner, make sure they seem enthusiastic before you go forward. If they say “I’m not sure,” or say yes, but they make an uncomfortable face or seem begrudging, then you should stop. No one should ever feel bullied or pressurised into doing anything they’re not comfortable with.

But if you’re both up for it, here are a few things you can try — whether you’re gay, straight, or bi:

Making sex better for him

Nothing quite hits the spot like a good blowjob or hand job, but have you tried…

  • Really taking your time? Sounds basic, but slowly kissing his chest, sucking his nipples, running your finger down his chest and even breathing over the tip of his penis will make the experience much hotter than simply getting on with it.
  • Playing with his balls? They like being fondled, licked and sucked. When it comes to fondling, some like it rough, others prefer a gentle approach, so it’s safest to ask how he likes it first. If you’re going there with your tongue, lick with long sweeping strokes and intermittently purse your lips and suck softly on the skin, or take each testicle all the way into your mouth and suck gently. (You’ll send him to infinity and beyond if you simultaneously give him a hand job.)
  • Using your tongue to lick the vertical line in the middle of his scrotal sac? You’ll get no complaints if you flick it with your tongue, too.
  • Gently rubbing his perineum – the nerve-packed patch of skin that is between his scrotum and his anus? Extra tip: use lube.
  • Inserting a finger into his anus and tickling his penis while you’re giving him a blowjob? Warning: you should definitely ask before attempting this ‘surprise’ – it feels great for some, weird for others.

Making sex better for her

We know. Women’s bits can be a bit more complicated. Getting her totally relaxed first will help. Have you tried…

  • Taking the time to discover her erogenous zones? Being really turned on starts with tapping into these. It could be behind her ears, on her neck, the base of her spine or the back of her knees. Ask her where she likes to be kissed.
  • Running your finger along the edge of her knickers first? The anticipation will drive her wild – although it could also drive her mad if you do it for too long.
  • Inserting a finger in her vagina during oral sex? Double points if you can find her G-spot.
  • Touching her clitoris during sex? Women rarely reach orgasm through penetration alone, but if you’re in a position where you can reach her clitoris that can change everything. The best positions for this include: doggy position and woman on top.

Sex tips for both of you

The bum hole: A cum button for some, a no-go zone for others. So before you go there make sure you: a) ask if it’s OK first, b) have lube to hand, and c) take it slowly.

What you can do: Using plenty of lube, massage the anus gently with your finger (or tongue using a dental dam) in round circular motions at first to gauge the response. If all the signs are good, add a bit more pressure before SLOWLY slipping the tip of your finger inside.

Toys: Whipping out a toy out at the right moment can be exciting for both of you. But again, not everyone appreciates a helping hand from a gadget, so before you produce your three-way multiple orgasm machine, you might want to mention it first.

What you can do: Pretty much anything! You can use it to stimulate the clitoris, nipples, the anus (as long as it’s comfortable), and penetrating the vagina. If you want to add more excitement, use a scarf to blindfold or tie your partner up before introducing your toy.

Next Steps

  • Chat about this subject on our Discussion Boards.
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sex tips


Updated on 29-Sep-2015

Photo by Sabrina C